"The old idea that the man should be the primary breadwinner can still affect relationships," notes Miriam Tatzel, PhD, professor of human development at Empire State College in New York. You need to assure him that you respect his career and life choices, no matter how much (or little) he earns, and never rub your greater spending abilities in his face. Let him know that you consider what you earn to benefit both of you because it gives you more opportunities as a couple, and find ways to make him feel needed even though you don't need him to buy you dinner. "But if he tries to hold you back in your career, it's more of a control issue, and he may not be the man for you," Tatzel says.